Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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