Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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