I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize