My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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