yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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