Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
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True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
the raccoons are back...
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