she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize