fuck your aforementioned shoe
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize