1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I want a musical about memes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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