i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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