Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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