Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize