Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize