listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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