Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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