before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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