What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
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I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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