I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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