ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize