I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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