He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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