Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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