you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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