He had one of those small greek statue penises
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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