No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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