No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can I color on your dick again?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize