Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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