what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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