is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
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