i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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