my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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