Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize