It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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