so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just gargled with NyQuil
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