I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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