Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize