These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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