Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
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Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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