I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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