1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i barfeds in our rink
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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