yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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