No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize