girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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