i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize