omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize