i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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