is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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