Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize