I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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