OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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